The Challenge of Gratitude

A Powerful Tool

Gratitude is one of the most powerful mental and spiritual tools we have at our disposal. It’s free, it’s potent, and it can be channeled in any place at any time. It not only promotes a sense of well-being, but it has measurable physical and neurological benefits as well. 

So, what’s the challenge? Well, there are many among us who have been absolutely brutalized with righteous phrases like “you should be grateful” or “you ought to have gratitude for this”, while in the midst of their suffering. After all, gratitude has been preached (and rightfully so) for centuries in virtually every religious text. The message of gratitude is undeniable, but sometimes it’s the way that message is delivered that creates resistance around “being grateful”.

The Stigma That Forms

Take for instance the child who has her heart set on a special toy for her birthday but receives a different one in its place. She feels the weight of disappointment and sad tears come streaming down her face. “Be grateful for what you have” preaches the annoyed parent with a frustrated tone of voice. 

The child feels like her emotions are invalidated and that her disappointment is not truly understood. She walks through life hearing commands to “be grateful”, but she is not taught how to actually do it. She forms a negative association with the phrase, and although she feels it naturally when she receives or achieves what she wants, she resents the concept in more difficult times.

Often, we are not taught a functional understanding of gratitude as children. We fail to gain the ability to feel grateful for the simple, moment-to-moment energy of life, and we only manage to experience the feeling when we “get what we want”. The concept of gratitude itself becomes stigmatized and we become more resistant to it and further dig into our sense of suffering and victimhood.

Try Using the Back Door

Alas, there is an alternative route for the resistant among us. Do you struggle with summoning the power of gratitude? Even if you have a consistent practice, there will likely be times when you feel resistance and could use some help finding your way back to feeling grateful. In times like these, you can simply walk right in through the back door…

The words “thankful” and “grateful” are quite synonymous in meaning, but they feel different when we say them. The word “thankful” is much less frequently “preached at” people, and therefore commonly carries less baggage and less resistance in the mind. 

For this reason, I often encourage people to use the phrase “I am thankful” in lieu of “I am grateful” in order to first open up the mind (which is now free from the resistance toward gratitude), and then to open up the heart. If you’re ready to give it a try, take a seat somewhere comfortable, enjoy a few slow, deep breaths, and say the following phrase out loud three times, with a pause in between each:

I am thankful in this moment. 

You have now opened up your mind to the concept of gratitude, but we still need to open up your heart space to truly feel and be in a grateful state. To do this, we switch one word and say the following phrase out loud three times again in the same way:

I am thankful for this moment.

You have now opened up your heart and are truly in the energy of gratitude. As my good friend Addison Palmore spelled out in his book Just Be, gratitude for the moment of life that is being lived is the ultimate connection with peace and well-being.

I invite you to repeat this exercise as often as you’d like, especially in challenging times and when you feel any level of resistance to “being grateful”. The results will astound you as your life begins to flow in a more connected way from your heart with others and as you walk through situations with more Love and awareness.

Much Love,
Noel Neu

Want to go even deeper into this concept? View the Instagram Reel version and listen as I explain the exercise on video.

You can also SIGN UP today for the EXCLUSIVE PRESALE LIST for my upcoming course, FACE Your Fears™. This course will take you out of fear and into Love, opening your heart and mind to the power of gratitude.