Take the “A”

We are a society full of worriers. We worry about what we’re going to eat, how we’re doing at work, and what others think of us. We worry about political issues, societal trends, and interpersonal conflicts. Our worry breeds stress and anxiety.

Worry is yet another fear-based emotion. As you may recall from the FACE Your Fears introduction blog, there are Four Acts of Love to counteract fear-based emotions:

Forgiveness, Acceptance, Compassion, Empathy (FACE)

Where there is worry, FACE it with Acceptance.

To better understand why this works, let’s do a deeper dive into the word. Acceptance occurs when we see something as it is. We take it in without a “…but”, and we simply let it be what it is. “Easier said than done”, you may be saying (and yes, this is true), but here is the key to acceptance: You don’t need to condone something, or even like it, to accept it. 

This concept changes everything! You can accept someone for who they are or how they are being and still stand up for yourself, set a boundary, or both. As a matter of fact, by accepting them and the situation, you have allowed yourself to act from a place of empowerment instead of reactive anger, which helps you set a more successful boundary.

Here’s a little story to illustrate the concept. It was July 4th and my daughter and I were at a friend's house for a cookout by the pool. When it was time for dinner, we were getting out of the pool, and my friend’s nine-year-old son was shooting hoops. He was insisting that he could not get out of the pool until he made three baskets in a row. 

Unfortunately, he was on a cold streak. He couldn’t get the ball in the basket no matter how hard he tried, and the pressure mounted with each missed shot. I could see that he was becoming overwhelmed with worry, and I felt a need to offer some advice. 

I said to him, “Sometimes you just have to take the L.” (“The L” meaning loss, which is a sports phrase of accepting what is, and coming back another day to meet the challenge with what was learned from the loss.) Although he wasn’t all that receptive to it at first, he soon let it go. As is common for kids (who tend not to hang on to stress as much as adults) he was off to the next activity and we were eating dinner.

Later that night while I was meditating, something came to me. I connected the act of acceptance through a simple phrase that I can tell myself when I become worried about something: “Take the ‘A’.” (The “A” here is Acceptance). There’s no need to take an “L”, as the word “loss” is a form of judgment in itself. Instead of judging, we can simply move into acceptance and flow freely into our next task.

I put it to use immediately, as I was “concerning myself with” (which is a fancier term for “worrying about”) what I had to accomplish the next day, and I said to myself “Take the ‘A’.” The worry lifted. Not only did it lift, but I was also able to go on to the next thought freely and attend to it without the stress of worry carrying over.

So next time you are feeling worried about something (it may even be right now), search yourself to find what it is you’re worried about. Close your eyes for a moment and silently think to yourself, “Take the ‘A’.” The acceptance will come from the opening of your heart. The acceptance is for you. You are OK in this moment, and whatever it is that is worrying you is not happening. It exists only in your mind as a desired or undesired future circumstance. “Take the ‘A’,” and come back to your heart to give yourself the attention and Love you deserve to handle any situation that comes your way. 

Remember: You don’t have to like something to accept it, and once you accept it for what it is, you can let it go and be free to act or react in any way that empowers you. 

Much Love to you now and always,

Noel Neu