The Gift of Desperation
Hitting Rock Bottom
We’ve all felt the feeling of desperation—full of anxiety, thinking that we’ll never get what we want or need, and be willing to take anything even resembling those wants or needs, because they may never be fulfilled otherwise. We often conceptualize desperation as negative, and it certainly feels that way. However, I want to share with you how a shift in perspective can turn it into a positive opportunity for growth.
When we are desperate, we are actually realizing that our reality is not as we want or need it to be. We feel it (sometimes rather harshly) and are called to face the reality head on. It’s generally true that, prior to feeling desperate, we were actually in a state of denial. (Our world rarely just falls apart all at once, without any warning signs or issues that present themselves beforehand.) This desperation wakes us up and gives us the ability to transform it into a positive.
Desperation Into Determination
No matter how badly we feel in our desperation, we have the opportunity to receive its gift and use it for our personal growth. Once we’ve truly hit “rock bottom” in a situation, we will do whatever it takes to achieve the success that we desire. First, we must surrender to the reality of the situation. We’ve already broken through our denial and, at this point, it’s about coming to terms with the new reality. Surrender allows us to let go, shift, change, adapt, and come into our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. We are able to grow through our challenges, and it’s a beautiful thing.
After surrendering, it is time to shift our desperation into determination. (First, a little note on determination: when we are determined too soon, it can be detrimental because we may still be in a state of denial, repeating actions and behaviors that do not deliver results.) Once we have received the gift of desperation, we surrender, and we shift into determination, we have all we need to move forward toward the success that we deserve for ourselves. We are willing to do whatever it takes to get through our challenges, and we continue onward.
Using the Gift
The next time you feel desperate, remember that you have an important choice. The first option is to stay in that sense of desperation, and let your ego run wild with creating and reinforcing limitations and challenges. You can cling and attach to the needs and desires that aren’t being fulfilled, anxiously concerned about losing even more and not ever getting what you’re looking for.
Or, you can take the second option, which is to accept desperation as a gift. You can surrender and shift your desperation into determination. You can become empowered and grow through the challenges that lie ahead. You can share, let go of, connect with, release, grieve, and allow whatever or whoever it is that you need to in order to move forward, heal and grow. It is this option that can change what may seem unimaginable (in a limiting way) to unimaginable beyond your wildest dreams.
When you choose to turn desperation into determination, and you move forward in your life, you will have a sense of appreciation, gratitude, and connection with yourself and others. You will take back control of your life and grow even stronger through the experience. I encourage you to take your desperation the next time it comes up, and turn it into determination. As you do this, think to yourself, “I’m not desperate; I’m determined.” If you give this a try, shoot me a message at connect@noelneu.com to let me know how it worked or is working for you.
Much Love,
Noel Neu, The Songwriting Therapist™