Noel Talks With Kim Litton on Narcissists, Boundaries & Recovery
Therapist and author Kim Litton, LCSW, joins Noel to unpack how toxic and narcissistic dynamics show up everywhere in life — even with your exterminator — and how empaths can set firm, loving boundaries without falling into codependency.
Kim is a licensed clinical social worker, certified addiction professional, and certified sex addiction therapist, and the author of I Do It For Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances. She and Noel have known each other personally and professionally for over a decade, and it shows — this is an easy, funny, and genuinely useful conversation.
They open with a story Kim posted online: her "toxic relationship" with an exterminator who gaslit her, dismissed her concerns, and left the job unfinished. It's played for laughs, but it opens the door to the episode's real subject — how the same dynamics we associate with narcissistic partners show up in service relationships, with doctors, colleagues, family, and strangers, and why those lower-stakes moments are exactly where empaths can practice healing.
In This Episode
Why toxic dynamics aren't limited to romantic partners
The empath on the right path vs. the wrong path — and how confidence gets built through small acts of self-advocacy
Getting out of the victim role and taking responsibility for your own healing
Why "narcissist" has become an overused label, and Noel's reframe: the selfist
The four fundamental needs: seen, heard, loved, trusted
Kim's recovery story and why she wrote I Do It For Her
Why sex and love addiction looks fundamentally different for women than for men
Shame as the root of "toxic" — and why healing shame is really loving self-acceptance
"Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean."
Chapters
0:00 Intro & meet Kim Litton
1:00 The toxic relationship with the exterminator
3:55 Setting boundaries vs. falling into codependency
5:58 The empath on the right path vs. the wrong path
7:56 Why the "smaller" relationships are the training ground
9:43 The narcissist label & reframing "selfist"
13:00 Getting out of the victim role
18:51 Kim & Noel on writing their books
19:37 Empath on the Right Path & being born an empath
22:33 The four fundamental needs
28:00 Kim's family-of-origin story
32:41 Recovery, addiction & telling the truth on the page
40:24 Why sex & love addiction is different for women
41:17 Healing shame as loving self-acceptance
44:14 What's next: AFAR, workshops & a 2027 book tour
Find Kim
Instagram: @kimlitton_therapist
TikTok: @kimlittonlcswcsat
Website: KLCounseling.com
Book: I Do It For Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances
About the Host
Noel Neu, MS, LMHC is a licensed mental health counselor in his 20th year of private practice. A Neu Perspective explores everyday topics in mental and emotional health through the lens of empathy, accountability, and personal growth.
